We Love You Stephanie… mmm except the Leg

Anham All Asylum has not been the same since a lovely girl (although a bit mental with a gammy leg) entered its sorrow filled wards and soiled dining areas, you could say this new girl really made an impression on our two heroic Doctors (Docteurs) this year. so much so that she drove a ‘love wedge’ between their friendship leading to dastardly deeds and majestical treachery in our usually quiet home for ‘Brain-failures’

This movie sees our two ‘mong-professionals’ plotting against each other to capture her heart/leg/mind in a selfish love triangle that threatens AAA to its very core… 😦 not good, not good at all…

We see them both confiding their love woes in two other ‘Mind-divs’ Kate & Keith who also have a sexual appetite for ‘stephanie’ but need to keep their own lust under wraps as they are closely related to the ‘Spack-limb’ themselves..

all will not be explained below… but watch anyway.


A film by Dar’ Shawn.


(starts with tormented doctor looking for patient/love interest background story)

I used to take care of a girl called ‘Stephanie’ Her wardrobe was from a jumble sale in the 70’s.
I couldn’t take her anywhere, she dribbled everywhere, she never combed her hair, I didn’t care, she’s such a dirty mare.
I like her for her seediness, I bribe her into secret-ness and then I tranquilise her into semi-paraplegic-ness
and Marc will have a pop on ‘er, she’s such a lucky tart, I wanna knock you out, knock you up, lock you in my car, Look it’s a Scimitarâ„¢

She’s got the frame and the face of a princess, such a shame she was made with the brain of a chimps.
God she’s got a big chest, big leg, big foot, I’ve got a foot fetish, string vest, big wood.
I’m like a sex menace when my hands peruse her, feels good but it doesn’t take much to confuse her.
Lose her at the supermarket, all the girls abuse her, jealous of her beauty men are calling me a user.
But I love you Stephanie…

(background story: Love triangle involving at least 5 people)

We Love You Stephanie… We Love You Stephanie…

I guess she needs a widdle so i pop her into Lidls, I lose her for a second but I’m following the trickles.
Takes pride in her piddle, left a pile in the middle, It’s a doddle to entice her with a sausage and some pickles.

We Love You Stephanie… We Love you Stephanie…

(background story: heated exchange between multiple parties)

I don’t know where my Stephanie’s gone, something’s definitely wrong, then unexpectedly Dr Phil Wellgo phoned me and told me
He’d show me a mong, So I went along, round to the back of his car to find my beautiful Steph stuffed into the
Boot of his Scimitarâ„¢, this is so sinister, a doctors meant to have nothing but care to administer.
Then Phil flipping’ hit me with his fist and then disappeared with Stephanie my pet and now I’m thinking that Phil is weird!
But I love you Stephanie.

We Love You Stephanie… We Love You Stephanie…

To many up the nags head i really picked a winner, but they’ve never taken ever this window licker to dinner.
Everybody sniggers at my fingers in her kippers, always chokes on bones, often vomits on my slippers.
Shes loves a bit of poppers, the night went incredibly, her leg aint the reason that she hobbles to the left of me.
Can’t you see we call it love with a hint of jealousy, get back in your boot, love and Thank God for Stephanie.

Should I now accept that my Stephanie’s dead? ‘cos I know that doctor Phil and the stuff that he says,
But it could be a bluff and he cares, ‘cos nothing compares to having a finger on Steph’s muff while she stares.

We love You Stephanie… We Love You Stephanie… (repeat lots)

(Dramatic conclusion)

Made by AºAAA – Locate The Patients RECORDS ©2013

Marc Carmichael, Phil Wellgo, Stephanie Haarper, Kate Ann Beverly, Keith Thorning, Lawrence Brown, Raoul Moet, Benny & Joey

Based upon the currently banned ebook : Stephanie ‘A Love Triangle in the Executive Suite’ by Kate Ann Beverley. (Keynsham)

Additional Unwanted Street Art by K-Thornz (Keith Thorning, Southmead)

EXTRA Thank You to Scimitar™, Reliant® and the kind people of Australia

Please share on all communication outlets and other forms of music transferring systems

Movie Movie Movie!

entertainment is what we are all about at AAA…. Image£

Get out of here mate, you bloody fag!

Marc and Phil’s recent filmed demonstration of P.A.T. in action, notice the subtle life altering suggestions and playish humour coupled with a severe deserved bollocking of sorts

Classic Marc & Phil using ‘The Sandwich Technique’ to deliver a much deserved bout of their world famous P.A.T. (Pointless Abuse Therapy) Not to be confused with ‘P.A.T.Therapy ‘ as ‘Pointless Abuse Therapy Therapy’ is only used when someone has had too much P.A.T. in the first place.

The Animal of Anham All Asylum  :  Locate The Patients RECORDS ©2013

Tax will not be Taxing…

You and Me, Me and You, Lots and Lots for us to do…

Dirty Area (an artists impression)


Dar’ Shawn has been busy of late making a film about Southmead Street and Grafarti stenc-tile artist, Keith Thorning (K-Thornz) coming soon,, He first met Keith selling counterfeit Diazepam to vulnerable children at a charity art event in Coombe Dingle (not to be confused with Caine) he really should be taking them himself, but he says it puts him off his bongs.

This is a film dar made last year whilst keith spent 2 weeks at Anham All after suffering 3 panic attacks in 2 weeks, Dar remembered him instantly and they struck up a close bond. Keith was first troubled by the criminal vandalising of ‘Banksy’s’ famous pink masked gorilla by fundamental anti banky-vists (suspected King Robbo extremists) secondly was being offered £12,700 for his ‘Portrait in the medium of kebab’ by a grieving Amy Winehouse fan only to have to admit that he had eaten it before it got cold (colder). The final straw was getting arrested 3 times in conjuction with pouring petrol and setting fire to Timmy Malletts Bristol Zoo gorilla, he may not have had the breakdown if he realised that police only wanted to congratulate him on his splendid good deed.


Keith at work in south Bristol.

He become obsessed with the pink mask after this crime, to quote keith himself:



Although keith has only popped by a couple of times to vandalise the place, we wish him well with his Artistic endeavours and his new political campaign “JUST-ICE4SAVILE-MANDEMZ” and his new internet cult “2PAKIZ.ALIE.V” also not forgetting his long running public feud with faux celebrity Prof. Brian Cox (urrrgh, don’t he make you wretch?) Keith has kept himself busy and we are all looking forward to Dar’s Biographical video in the new year.

Keith Thorning's Chair



WW2HMDS….What does this mean to you?






burt big meeme

Recent propaganda produced by the AAA WW2D Group which often idolises the Actor and Anti-Churchillite (alleged) Burt Reynolds have been flooding Anham All Asylum’s Notice boards and contributed a scary 0.69% Ink cartridge depletion in 3 key areas of the hospital, WW2HMD syndrome sufferers seem to flock to Reynolds with a verve that can only be described as ‘Awfully Depressing’ and their usage of CB slang has rendered most. if not all of them completely unintelligable to the staff (who have enough problems understanding English at the best of times)

If one guy s’gonna rattle my snake, it’ll be that ‘ol Bandit.

Winston Churchill, Cambridge 1952 (allegedly)

The Hoax Conspiracy.

Members of the AAA Guitar Clubs have (allegedly) become more and more drawn into this urban fantasy/cult concerning the (alleged) Falsification in history of the years 1939-1945. After doing alot of (alleged) work with our Alzheimer sufferers they have become attached to the idea that the second world war (allegedly) never happened, we of course know that these people have a condition called WW2HMDS (allegedly) which is easily treated by ignoring everything that they say, unfortunately for the more mentally vulnerable in the AAA Guitar Clubs their simple minds are corrupted and they end up believing the ‘Myth’ that (allegedly) Burt Reynolds stood against Winston Churchill who in 1948 (allegedly) created the Second world war as a series of ‘Fly in a Docu-Drama’ format films and internet viral campaigns. Churchill (allegedly) commissioned the ‘War’ (allegedly) to be produced by the BBC and http://www.pathe.war to ultimately change world history between the years 1939-1945 (allegedly).

Below is one of the recent ‘guitar based’ internet viral campaigns produced by the newly formed WW2D Group…

but why?

That’s a good question.

Below is a recording of surveillance measures currently being utilised by staff to document the going on’s in Rec Room 2 on Wednesdays (from 11am until we steam in with the heavy handed kit) they typically stay on CH38 so their communications can be easily traced.

Please ask before posting on the Notice board…

AAA WW2D Group

This group has been reported several times for what they are broadcasting via CB Radio in the hospital, please don’t encourage them.

Stephanie cartoon 1

missing doctors and the worryingly missing Stephanie….



Burt Reynolds 39-45 Truther and actor

The day my brother trolled me to death…

‘We all know that internet bullying can be fun, but sometimes it can lead to a humiliating suicide’

Our latest Infommercial contains handy soundbites relating to the problems of S.I.B. (backed with a modern Jazz-Funk musical score to appeal to todays youth) and maybe offers a few solutions as well. This trend has reached epidemic proportions in households where the children are not allowed outside to play with other children and friendly adults until they reach the age of 13. They spend their entire lives living in a Corporate Virtual Reality (C.V.R) only briefly punctuated by school (probably the worst thing to punctuate with or be punctuated by, discuss in the comments at your will) this lack of open space can turn the usual sibling rivalry into a colossal cyber war between brother and sister, brother and brother, sister and sister and the funny ones who act like boys, wear lumberjack shirts, shave but have a twat. (thats what the ‘sibling’ word means) long gone are the innocent days when you would find your offspring locked in a bone crushing wrestle or whipping each other ferociously with wet tea towels.

such a golden age.

Communication: Translating into Alzheimers.

“Here’s a better idea love/mate, put down the chip pan and come with me to guitar class instead”

All of our staff have been trained to repeat that sentence in a varied amount of languages, with varying degrees of success:

just some of the more popular languages catered for:






























 guitar animal


Guitar Clubs: Mondays 7:30pm – 9.00pm in the Rec-Room. (patients only)

No Food, Drink, Smoking, Spitting or anything else remotely enjoyable near the Pool table please.

Thanking you

A.A.A. Guitar clubs.

‘Guitar Clubs’ contribution to Alzheimer’s awareness is lauded as mild success

Everybody’s talking at me
I don’t hear a word they’re saying
Only the echoes of my mind

poignant words as written and performed by Fred Neil (http://youtu.be/M-Ql1284QLw) who himself had observed the early dementia of someone he had once spoke to briefly, although fearing for his own personal safety and answering the same question over and over and over, (avoidable chip pan explosion) …and over and over and over again and again and again he struck up a passing friendship (although he didn’t get involved with ‘Caring’ or anything as time consuming as that) he decided to use is musical art talent to document the tribulations of an Alzheimeree to finish his LP. only to find out that when it was released everybody would quickly forget about it.

People stopping staring
I can’t see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyes

Now at A.A.A. Guitar Clubs They have cunningly fused 9 weeks of rehearsal and recording into one seemless montage and used video documenting the real actual lives of ‘clumsy forget me nots’ assembled in Dar’ Shawn’s A\V Club on thursday mornings 9:00am – 1:00pm in the Rec Room. We hope this film may make you ponder about the struggles of living with this condition that is now more popular than ever. The A.A.A. Guitar Clubs would also want me to impress upon you the fact they use ‘Elixir Phosphor Bronze Nanoweb Acoustic Guitar Strings just for the record.